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Mune no Melody - 4

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Afternoon rays swept across his bedroom floor and the soft sounds of a guitar being strummed echoed through the almost empty apartment. All day he'd been absorbed in writing this song and he felt he was almost done. It was rare that he found he wrote a 'perfect' song, but when he did, he never showed them to anyone. They were the pieces he kept secret, containing messages, meanings and emotions far too personal or raw to have to explain their meaning in proper words to others.

Things hadn't changed since his talk with Mimi. He'd rehearsed a few lines, wondering how he could phrase things to Hikari without scaring her off, ways to convince her to keep it a secret, that it wouldn't be bad at all. Every time he did though he just felt like a rock had sunk to the pit of his stomach and he abandoned the idea all together.

As such, life continued on. As a group, the Chosen went to the zoo and he walked with Hikari for a bit. For various reasons, he'd been close to the brunette for so long and they could talk about anything without worries. Nothing had changed much since they were kids and she looked up to him, respectfully listening but giving her own opinion too. He kinda wanted those days back - things were so much simpler when you were a kid, right?

Somewhere along the line, Hikari had started acting like a posh lady (apparently it was some in joke or another), though her little act broke down with a few prods from the second generation of Chosen. He laughed with the rest of them, glad she wasn't one of those girls who put on airs, but rather one who stayed true to herself (unless she thought it was the best for those around her).

The sun was shining down and they stopped for drinks in a cute cafe at the bay before they all parted, going their seperate ways. Waving goodbye, the blonde wondered Hikari would ever react in any of the scenarios he had ever thought of, or if she would blow him out of the water by doing something completely different. Leaving his brother, he walked into the local conbini, grabbing some milk and snacks. Before checking out, a manga caught his eye. It was the one he and Tai used to read as kids.

If he and Hikari did go out, what would Tai do? Even if he were mad to begin with (which, as a friend and someone who tore up his old relationship, he had no right to be), would things get better? Could we laugh together like old times? Grabbing the book, he paid and left, still pondering his situation.

His father had been no help. He said he could either go for it, leave it, or find another girl as a distraction and left it at that. Yamato had a feeling he wanted to say more, but simply couldn't put it into words. The blonde had a feeling his father didn't want to give him advice that would lead his son into a similar situation as himself either, wanting to prevent that type of pain and fighting with someone you were once so close to. He wished his father could just say so though, rather than being standoffish or secretive. Hiroaki was the reason he had developed a similar attitude after all, wouldn't it be better if he were more open in order to try and get Yamato to be a more open person to? But he knew that was easier said than done. People couldn't just change over night; even if they wanted to, sometimes there just wasn't the time or courage to be able to do so.

Sighing, he picked up his guitar and started replaying his latest song, one he was sure would go straight to number one if The Wolves released it. But until the situation was resolved, Ice Cream Syndrome would remain his secret problem, one that would hopefully heal quickly and without hassle.

Laughing, her eyes flickered to him before looking away just as quickly. Stealing glances made her feel guilty; she figured that if she ever did go out with him she wouldn't feel this guilty - even if she did, at least she'd be happy at the same time. Courage wasn't her thing though, so going through with what felt like a huge decision was ridiculously frightening to her. If it had been someone else she liked, she would have gone to Sora, asking for help, but that option wasn't exactly appropriate either.

After all, she was the one who broke Yamato's heart (though hopefully he was over her by now - he might have to be smacked around a few times if he wasn't) but she was supposed to be both their friends too. As the holder of the crest of love, she should have been maybe been able to lead her to right path to take, but considering her paths had ended in awkward tension and fighting, her advice probably wasn't the best to take. Additionally, unlike Mimi or Miyako, she couldn't trust Sora to be secretive about the whole thing, since she was dating Tai. If she did tell the older girl about her feelings and they were relayed to Tai, she wouldn't begrudge her; after all, they were dating and you shouldn't keep secrets from who you're with (though she'd kept Tai a secret from Yamato, so maybe she could keep a secret...).

But that wasn't going to get her anywhere, was it? What she had to decide was how long this act would continue? If they were going to be anything, Yamato couldn't keep being the best friend. While she might say it was okay if they were apart, did she really mean that? He'd gone on tour last year and she'd fretted all month, unable to get him out of her head, emailing him constantly. Reality was always different to what you tried to make it, wasn't it?

Once, she joked about them being together. That had been when he was still happy with Sora, so nobody had taken her seriously, simply laughing at her. Had he thought it was a joke? Maybe he had thought she was merely infatuated - the younger sister longing after the brother's best friend was a common plot after all. Had he thought those words had simply rolled off her tongue without worry? In truth, she had just blurted them out, but the words had been prophetic. At least that's what she felt now. Back then, it was a joke, but now those words rung in her ears, as if forcing her to be... Something.

She couldn't be spontaneous or truthful now. She had no idea what was stopping her really. Daisuke was probably just crushing, and Takeru, while he maybe liked her, kind of gave her mixed signals at times. If they really cared, along with Taichi, they'd leave her alone and be happy for them. But despite all the reasons she could list to tell herself to just go for it, the words she wanted to let out of her heart ("I really want to be with you!") just refused to reach her mouth.

The back of his shirt was damp with sweat as they sat, chatting and laughing over the day they'd just shared. This Yamato, the laughing, happy, gorgeous, smart, friendly, sensitive, idiotic, best friend, protector and so much more was the one she wanted to make her own. He may be the lone wolf band leader with a great voice and body to all his fangirls, and true, that was another side to him, and the brunette could accept that side too. She loved it as well, but she loved the rest of him too and wanted to make him know that.

But that was another thing she couldn't burn into her mind. Them being together, laughing and smiling together, holding hands under the table, pulling each other's hair, feeding each other and being cutely lovey-dovey and adorable, much like Mimi and Koushirou were being across the table. There really wasn't much else she wanted though (well, she could do without the hair pulling and the feeding each other to be honest; the complete adoration was something she longed for though).

Seperating at the train station, watching him and Takeru leave, the young woman thought that people weren't permanent. Maybe things would change in time and she would get her happy ending, even if it was just for a brief moment. Or maybe this was his permanent stage and maybe the Yamato she could see was what was really happening - him walking away, far away. Maybe he'd end up with someone else after all, simply fading from her life (with the way he and Taichi were constantly fighting now days, she wouldn't be surprised if that was the case).

With that thought, she felt her heart split in two. Taichi asked what was wrong (the annoying thing about older brother's was that they always seemed to know when your mood changed, but always seemed to want to fix it, despite what you wanted). The brunette simply shook her head slightly, looking up at the clear blue sky. It seemed to be mirroring my feelings, she thought vaguely, as a plane split the canvas in two. Walking home in the spring heat, she was reminded that it would be over soon; winter would soon settle in, leaving these holidays and days spent with friends far away. The season is already leaving.

She wondered if he felt the same way. What if he was feeling the same way right now? Did he feel just as powerless and confused, like an idiot with no strength or courage to do anything useful? Hikari both doubted and believed that at the same time. After all, he was older and held an air of maturity and strength around him, but he was also sensitive and cool enough to woo thousands of girls with hand writing melodies. I suppose it's just not something I'm supposed to know, is it?

Even in this blurring world, you continue to remain perfectly clear. He understood Hikari - she was like an open book after all, so it wasn't particularly difficult, but he didn't even feel that way with his brother sometimes. Maybe it was because they were so different, that they conflicted so often and argued occasionally. So perhaps it was a good thing he and Hikari were similar, at least in some ways. He never had to wonder if what he was saying was 'right' when he was around her (for that, he was incredibly thankful).

But, friendship was a tricky thing. He felt like he'd never be escape the various ties it had made. Escape? That wasn't something he wanted to do at all! Maybe just untangle them a bit, set them out clearly. Make it less of a maze, perhaps. But moving was hard. Making a step in the right direction... It really was all he wanted. Cowardice was all that was stopping him. But fate isn't something that waits. Nor is time - depending on how much longer he hmmed and dithered around, Hikari could end up with someone else.

He couldn't allow that to happen. Right now, he wanted to see her, despite only seeing her a few hours ago. Was that what they called love? Whatever it was, he didn't really care, it was true and that was all that mattered. He wanted to call her and he'd like to think he'd be serious and cool about it (though the blonde had a feeling his voice would be unsteady and nervous) and call her out to meet him. To be honest, face to face, no worries, just truthful - that was what he wanted.

Sitting up from his position sprawled on his bed, he made up his mind. The memory of Hikari today, smiling and laughing, walking next to him - it wasn't going to be a memory for much longer. He was going to make it a reality, something that happened far more often, something that, occasionally, would happen just because of him, just for him.

The feelings she left with him... It was like he could still her voice ringing in his ears, like she was right there, as though she were close enough for him to reach out to her. Every time they were together, things seemed brighter. So that was the reality he would make.

The only question left was when.
Sorry for no updates :|
Chapter Three: [link]
Chapter Four: Here
Chapter Five: Soon
© 2013 - 2024 Nikki-Kuznetsov
Comments1
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Yay new chapter! Yamato will tell Hikari! -does happy dance- Yay!
I really liked this chapter. Good job!